and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
