After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this beer tastes like vomit already
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
