so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
smell my finger.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize