So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
