in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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