fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
3pm strippers are depressing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They took my balls.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize