it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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