Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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