You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
