he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
