yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
