new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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