high people should be assigned attendants
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
