Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
