the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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