If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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