can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
