I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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