the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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