the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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