Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
