Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
