Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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