Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
