Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
