Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
