five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
