think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
