You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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