Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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