Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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