We won't sleep together?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
