Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
