Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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