a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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