Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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