Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
