My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
