ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
