just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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