Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
