Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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