Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
