Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize