You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
