He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize