This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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