marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
