i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
