he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
