You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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