Having a random hookup so left but love u
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
