We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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