apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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