if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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