So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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