Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
