I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
