and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
