wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize