So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
