apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
