I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
