i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
