just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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